HUM CHLOROMINT KYON KHAATEN HAI???

U must be blind if u haven't figured out the answer yet!! (taaki ghar me danda na khaayen).. that would be "THE" answer to the million dollar question....
so.. here goes the story ( which happens to be true! )....

MY FIRST "REAL" FAG......

i had fagged quite a few times b4 yday but had really never understood the aura that went arnd the ..so called .. "pleasure" that ppl derived out of it..... however.. NOW.. i do.. :)
i must thank two ppl for this... sneha and jai..
well.. sneha actually had nothin to do with this.. she jus happened to introduce me to this guy sellin momo's for 10 bucks which meant that i cud nw save upto 40 bucks by nt goin to momo plaza..
however..the culprit of the show happens to be jai who taught me what to do with the 40 that i save!!
jai n i happened to go out yday to a hell of a lot of places. he needed to buy a nice pair of shoes and we happened to be more miserable than gals.. cos we spent the entire afternoon searchin n ended up buyin none... (at least gals can buy a button in that time!! n i can testify!!!) neways.. we endd up doin a whole lot of walkin cos he did buy some pants for himself and finally we came to the momo guy and trust me... we were dead thirsty! we hogged on the momos and followed it up with two bottles each of chilled... really chilled thums up. it was AWESOME.. to say the least!!!! i guess all of u can relate to this.... u feel the chillness of the drink goin down ur throat wen u r really thirsty.. and if u don.. "go to hell"
if u r still on earth .. read along....
it all happened after the drink... ... ... both of us bought a classic for ourselves and he promised me that this wud be the best time to fag (after a satisfyin hog!). we sat outside elgin's metro, and with the cool breeze that we r so accustomed to from the metros, soothing us, i lit the cigarette. With my first puff (that went thru my mouth and part of t came out thru the nostrils.... the rest disappeared smwhere inside.. god.. i wished i was a biology guy so that i cud ve xplained that phenomenon better!!) it felt as if somebody jus took away the entire load of all the food and had releived me off all the strain that i had undergone the entire day walking.. and the wind from the metro, as it hit my face, refreshing as it was and takin away the tiny beads of sweat that had formed on my forehead, was like makin me fly without wings and feel that smbody was givin me a gentle mid-air massage. If u r a regular fagger.. i guess u wud accept and understand what i felt that time and would also forgive me for my miserable inability to put it in the right words.
jai.. the miserable fuck!!! he jus gave me a poisonous medicine...!
but i was ready to forgive him.. cos i felt like God.. nt 'cos i was ridin an avenger.. but 'cos i held a classic b/w ma fingers!
well.. after we finished our fags he bought a couple of chloromints for each of us...
I : isse kya hoga?
HE : badboo nahi marega be...
I : acha.. isse badboo ka prob solved??
HE : mooh se to nahi aayega badboo..
i was dead surprised and stunned at that!!! OKKAY!!! WR ELSE DOES T COME FROM THEN??
HE : (laughs) abbey nahi.. shirt se to aata hi hai.
for a second i felt they shud advertise.... buy a couple of chloromints and get a sachet of ariel.. free!
nevertheless... i popped the mints and was ready to go home.


To the faggin fraternity.. here i come......................
CHEERS TO NICOTINE!!!!

P.S. (1) DON WATCH HEY BABY IF U R A GUY.... ( will try n xplain y in my next post )
(2) STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN CUD BE VINCE Mc MAHON'S ILLEGITIMATE CHILD!!!
LOL!!!!!

"HEY JO, I WROTE A SONG TODAY...ITS CALLED GET UP!"

DISCLAIMER(S):
1. The author does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).
2. Thou shalt not needlessly waste your time by reading further if thou has not the least idea about Chandler Bing a.k.a Matthew Perry… ( the vice-versa might no be true).
3. Don’t proceed any further if you have been advised by some nut to abstain from laughin’.


Well, now that it s just me n all those ppl who claim to know who chandler bing is and have the liberty of creatin a laugh riot, I will present to you some of the most hilarious comments ever made on planet earth…. These r not goin to be in any kinda order and they r gonna be my fav 15. M jus gonna put ‘em up the way I want to!! ( it’s MY blog!! :-) )

1) Ross: i got the gift of time!!!

Chandler: thats nice.. last christmas i got the gift of space.. why dont we join it together and make it a continuem!!

Oki… nw its upto u guys to imagine hw chandler makes up that face of his durin each dialogue delivery n does all that movement with his arms..

2) There s this episode where joey tries to sell the entertaimment center n gets locked n robbed

Joey: I was tryin’ to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I’m gonna do?

Chandler: BEND OVER?!!!

I jus feel sometimes if there ever has been a guy with a better sense of one liners…!!!??

3) This one s wen Ross has just slept with another woman after breaking up with Rachel. Chandler s obviously surprised at hw fast Ross s gotten over it!!

Chandler: You slept with another woman 3 hrs after breaking up with Rachel ?? Come on.. Bullets have left guns slower !!

4) Now its jus not humanly possible of u to NOT have seen this episode or this scene (at least!!).
Chandler n Joey are supposed to be takin care of Ross’s baby n they end up losin him in a bus. They go to human services department to find the baby….. There r two similar lookin babies. One wearin a dress havin clowns printed on it n the other one has ducks n they don know which one to take bk home. They decide to flip and hence assign smthn to heads n tails….

JOEY: Ducks is heads becoz ducks hav heads!!

CHANDLER: Kind of scary ass clowns came to ur birthday party??!!

5) Ever felt bad for Candler and also felt lik laughin a t the same time?? Here goes…
Chandler n Monica try makin’ love & chandler's thing doesn't work. He gets very upset abt it and goes to Joey's place…. looks at the fuseball table... And says.."...Sure, you guyz don't have any thing to worry about, you're made of WOOD..."
He also says this once after a similar kinda incident wen he s unable to perform in bed with Mon…
"In high school, I failed in biology, but tonight…… biology failed me"..

6) Once Rachel gets pissed that chandler saw her "boobies" by mistake while coming out of the shower and in reciprocation she wants to see his "pee pee".

Ross: You must show her your pee pee.

Rachel: Yes thats correct,you saw mine..i should see yours….tit for tat.

Chandler: I am not showing you my TAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
(That was a killer!!!)

7) Oki…. Nw this 7th one s gonna need u to imagine hw he says things wen he s desperately frustrated at Joey’s wisdom (or rather.. The lack of it)..

Chandler: [To Joey who's removing his tie] Would you put that back on? Monica's gonna be here any minute!

Joey: But it hurt's my Joey's Apple.

Chandler: [frustrated] Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man!!!

8) Take this for a one liner… right out of the blues!!!!

"U wanna do somethin diff ?? Then lets try loosing our virginities again, cos i think mine is growing back!!"

9) I have to admit there s no hierarchy in ths list…. Otherwise this one wud have been smwr right up there!!!!

Joey: lets name the chick's and duck's kid as CHUCK

Chandler: or DICK

10 & 11) This one again goes one to prove what he thinks of Joey…
During his marriage with monica…

The greek padre asks him "are you Chandler?"

And he asks back, "Are you Joey???????!!!!"

When Joey asks him if he looked 19..Chandler replies......Oh!! yes.....on a scale of 1 to 10....10 being the dumbest a person can look u r DEFINITELY 19

12 & 13) Chandler must have lived some time as the Greek God of sarcarsm or something!!! Have a look at these two…

Once when Phoebe and the Bing's were fighting over their guy who wud go to the charity ball with Rachel.....they happen to be bragging about their guy's qualities....

Phoebe: Have you seen your guy’s body?

Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head!!!

Monica and Mike are playing pingpong and chandler keeps talkin away, which both of them ignore..

Chandler : “I wonder if i shud use my invisibility to fight crime or do evil .. ?”

14) Took me some time to get this.. Bu sent me rollin wen I did….!

When all of ’em r at central perk and Ross asks for a "cheque"…. Chandler says, “ why not a Yugoslav.…?? ”

15) Nw this one is the last but in no way the least!! It s wen Joey has this Australian room mate and is weaving a sweater wit her. Joey invites Chandler to join but he says "NO THANKS JOSEPHEEN!!” Chandler then goes over to Ross's place and finds him puttin on some make up and then he goes…….. "OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN? "

I was jus watchin silence of the lambs the other day wen I thot to myself…. Of course lambs must be scarier than ducks.. Else they’d ve called it silence of the ducks!!!!

long live C.B .............

DADA s back!!!.... but as 'DADU'

I was watchin the third n final test at the oval till 15 min bk on star and Saurav Ganguly was then battin on 30 odd. i was tempted to post this 'cos of an incident that happened then. Ganguly, i must admit, howmuchever i like him, is jus a shadow of what he used to be. it takes him ages to score his runs... as if the Chappel episode has made him ignorant of the fact that batsmen shud have some regard for their strike rates.
newaz... Ganguly was battin wid a strike rate of 37.75 and i guess it's high time we shud start callin him "DADU" n not "DADA"!!! He suddenly struck Anderson for a four thru point that was reminiscent of our dada of the past n i jus started to feel that there might be a turn around nw. next over he came down the pitch n whacked Monty for a huuuuugeeeeeee six over long on and that was Saurav Ganguly at his best!!! i was wondering hw can sm players be so neat and elegant in their strokeplay.... n then the commentator said, durin the replay, " What an astonishing and effoertless shot! I guess only Lara can play that shot better than Saurav in world cricket"... ... ... ... well, i jus got an update from cricinfo that Ganguly s out for 37. at least he managed to make a definite point durin his stay at the crease.. that.. Lara s a genius.
whoops!!! sorry if u were expectin smthin else frm this post.. :) good nyt.

may GOD bless ICL.....
Amen..

Frenship's day ..... a build up to Valentine's??!!

Its 11:45 n so… technically speakin.. It still s frnship’s eve n m jus wonderin of tomorrow and all those optimistic eves who wish that some prince Adam comes, kisses their injured foot, heals it, ties a frienship band arnd that poor foot ..callin it “a new fashion statement that heals” and they get a chance to display the cherished attitude or arrogance by sayin.. “ frnship band??.. MY FOOT!!!”…. Or.. Or… maybe those eves who would wonder if some chocolatey handsome guy , who has a chuckle that resembles that of the Live-In Dino Morea, should approach them n decorate them with a “cute” lookin’ band….err.. Frenship’s band, and they again demonstrate an attitude by sayin smthin like.. “dude… xcuse me??…yukk!!!” Somebody plzzzz make this correction…“Attitude.. and NOT diamond is a gal’s best friend!!”
But STILL prince Adam n Dino would go after their lady like even if they r called dogs.. n wot not… no wonder they say.. “A dog s a man’s best friend!!”…no corrections required there.….. But at the end of the day, Dino, Adam n their respective lady lucks would be seen coochi-cooin arnd at citizen’s park the comin 14/02 with St. Valentine showering all kinda aromatic n exotic flowers on them frm heaven !!!... See… what all friendship’s day can do??!!! it's actually bcomin a build up to the valentine's day for many ppl..
And yeah, there r also the bunch of apparent studs who actually go arnd doin such crap such as tryin to impress random junta with gifts and flowers… y? cos it’s frenship’s day!! I wish they jus said.. “happy Monday/tue/my day/ SOME GOD DAMN DAY” and do it any day!! And like SRK ,tell each femme the same story that u r the only one whom m giftin this shit! Did somebody ever tell me that he s bisexual? … huh! So much 4 that!!
A guy gets to wish a gal on frenship’s day n take his first productive step toward “approachin” her.. N then go arnd wid her claimin all sorts of stuff b4 finally disappearin on the day they celebrate most guys’ death anniversaries that s so nicely called as rakhi!! That s wen the femme community officially gets to say F.O to those whom it feels r trespassing ‘not to be occupied’ territories and to maybe even the optimistic guy, who had by now bought valentine roses for her. Poor him! N they still say it’s a man’s world!!??? I guess we shud have a day wen guys get to say official F.O’s to gals by tyin smthin similar on their wrists n maybe we can call that as a RAKHA?? Or smthin like that! Lets see hw many girls fall sick that day n not go to skools or colleges or even to work! No wonder A.R.Rahaman s a successful bloke..
Well, all this was for the breed of ppl who see friendship’s day as a ladder to a successful valentine’s day the next year…J not a bad idea tho!!.. Of course there r ppl like De who r still alive and game for a good collction of frienship bands as well as rakhis…
Oki…It’s past twelve now n so we r technically into “THE” day…. N so.. First things first.. I will stop kiddin' arnd and tell ya folks that of course frndship's day is a day that we all look frwrd to, for not the bull sht that i was talkin abt all this time, but to thank all our frens who mean a tonne n even more and to wish them all for much better n brighter days to come.. and of course to tell them in a very subtle manner that they have brought abt quite a change in our lives with their frndship and love by jus sayin " happy frienship's day "....... so here goes.... i wish u happy friendship’s day and I wish the same to all u guys and girls who r close to me and mean so much to me…. I wish I cud be the “apparent stud” n go arnd givin flowers to all u gals!! Jeezz... n guys…. M not SRK!!
Well, I have a silent prayer for all u guys tho…!! Girls can stop reading here… If u r a girl i wish u happy friendhip’s day again... Have a gr8 day. May the Dino Morea‘s and Bradd Pitt‘s (and of course.. Abhishek too.. For all u ‘bit‘ten ppl) come to u.. Bbye….
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“may the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up ur day and may their arms be too short to scratch…!!

Amen!!
n
Cheers!!