Pehchaan Kaun

The little things in life still remain the most cherished.
Last night a few of us started playing a random game of pehchaan kaun on facebook. The concept was simple – make a combination of two or more pics that when put together and decoded would sound similar or name one of our friends. There was no rocket science behind it – not even photoshop, cos then ppl like me would have backed out. Plain and simple ms-paint did the trick. It caught like wildfire among our friends group. One creative bitch called vashisht started it… and the less fortunate ones joined but made the most of it. As crappy as it may sound, it was! All of us were loaded with projects, presentations, exams looming and the baap of all causes of nervous breakdowns – placements! Pehchaan kaun was the perfect unadulterated foil for such a situation in order to waste whatever little time we had. I was just telling a friend that I had no time at all to study all that was required of me when the game started.
It was almost like a fastest finger first competition. As soon as u uploaded a pehchaan kaun pic on ur wall, there would be 3-4 people commenting with answers , guessing the name of the person the pic represented and it would be followed by a plethora of funny remarks, sad ass comments and pj’s. my roomie was so into it that he cracked one pehchaan kaun while he was taking a pee and came running from the toilet screaming, “ I GOT THE ANSWER!!!”. He wanted to be the first to comment with the right answer, so much so that he probably pre-empted his excretory activities. Vdl was cribbing about in the statuses that she was not able to get any of the answers first up. So one of the cases when she did manage to crack the pic when no one else had, she happily commented saying, “yaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, finallllllllllllllly I got the answer first!!”. When she did manage to post it, there were 5 others who had posted the answers... all while she was typing, in a matter of seconds!! Guess the plethora of l’s and y’s din’t work out too well for her  people kept making funny remarks and blunders throughout that made the deal even more hilarious all the way. There was probably a total count of around 200 statuses and 15 pics that happened in pehchaan kaun.
Anyway, the thing started at around 1 and by the time we realized that there are probably better things to do in life .. like sleep… it was around 4:30. So that was all there was to pehchaan kaun. A small, simple and random game started even more simply and randomly, but something that all of us who played it last night will remember for the rest of our lives.
Small things… like I said … are most cherished.

a few days before CAT

ok.. its been two years or so n i found this write up on my comp.. saved in some random prog files folder! here goes:


Hello everyone…. Good afternoon and how are you? Hold on a sec… ok yeah. I was just kinda forhetting what I wanted to talj abuoy today. My frend tel me that I an drunk, but I really am not, iys just that I had a ,, no twoooo, ok four or maybe I don know … woteva it s, my gracious souls tell me that u r drunk only if u fell drunk and not if ppl say so. Its very dificclt to gauhe t u know. :0 but I sewar I am srunk.
Anyways, it’s the final week and ppl are tense arnd me so am i. the only difference is they are tends cos CAT is comin uo this Sundaym, and I am tensed cos I have run out of vokda. I fukd up the last mockcat thay I took day before tom on sundau and now I feel I am ready for th main one, cos if u see my record, its like a sine curve. One bad then one good, then another bad and then god snf good good boy nyself.. ryt? Oh manQ I am really going to hell!
One so called @pep-talker* came up and said that we shud stop learning new things this last week and condentrace on our strnghts and whoteva we have learnt till now since this hs my last week toward freedom.. not the 1947 one  u got that one ryt>*^$$.. wr the fuk is the question mark!!.. ? yeah, ok.. u got yhat one ryt? so I figtrd out thst I am basically free this week if I go by the peppers view and so I liked his opinion(nd I like his name now,, pepper, hehe). Only concentrate on ur strenthgd and thts shudb enuf to get u thru. So here I am .. ok here I was.. drinking and following his advise(advice), but now its over andi am telling u ,, hey what did I want to say to u? ho;d on…
Whay did I tell u till now? Wait.. let me read thru. Heey.. the spell check aint not working, haha that s funny.
Many ppl were on leave at work today, excluding me. Ppl are concentrating on their strengths now I thikn.  wen the managers bunkdurint the last week, u feel they are also planning to take the test. But y wud a manager take the cat, let me know if u get an answer to that. Kills me.
Ok.. I know withut the slepp chek, u will habe difficulti inn reading the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRC given above. Sorry I just presed the “a” a bit too much, delete it,
But don struggle, just leave it, I ll read it tom nd rectify the eroor that I ahv made while typing. Actually thre is no lite and I canr see properly. Really!! I think I shu go thebed.
So loooong then.. good morning.. bey… hey heye that was for tom morning. I am npt drunk. I told ya, bye.

another boring mktng class

I was in Gera’a class today. Don’t know which subject. Something to do with marketing. Was attending classes after quite a bit and have decided that I will bog whatever I remember from the classes I attend from now on. It is really frustrating to not remember some of the stuff that I want to remember from classes and when I want to pen them down, the backbencher in me says, “hello! Are u really taking notes?”. It actually not notes, but just weird thoughts that cross my mind when I am in class and if I am attentive to the shit that happens.
Anyway … so today it all started with Saggi’s group giving a presentation on the Suzuki Samurai. The man started of himself, taking ownership, by asking the class what came to our minds when he said Suzuki Samurai. I vividly remember someone having said, marshal arts. The answer he expected was a bike, which Suzy said, to which he gave a satisfactory expression as if the bait had been taken. “EXACTLY what I had thought you would think, beamed the psychologist in Saggi” and the presentation was on its way. 2 min later Sethi took over and that was it. It was as if he had felt misused when Saggi had started off the presentation and he never stopped and went right upto the thank you slide. The others in the group kept watching. Not that I felt sorry for them, but I did for those who kept listening about the samurai. One the monologue was over, Gera wasked if anybody had any questions. There was a silence for two minutes and just when Gera was about to stand up in appreciation of the class’s aversion to dissemination, a few hands were raised. Ppl asked shit and shit was thrown back at them. Shirish, in between, replied to some stuff that Sahil (off all people) asked. I could just hear him murmur to himself. I am sure Sahil wasn’t answered but not that he expected to. It was all just an effort to make gera feel that B3 had matured as a marketing class over the past one year.
Once the “discussion” was over, gera took over. It was a 1 hour session that followed that included examples of the Ipod, Swatch, the sony robot and some other stuff that I did not hear. Apparently Swatch ka intended positioning was not to be a fashion accessory. They wanted it to be a brand that had a watch for every occasion.. from a late afternoon swim to an evening dinner. They sold it in the departmental stores and since it was priced significantly lower than other watches, it ended up more like a fashion accessory (or something of that sort is what Gera said. Apparently, its a very good case made by Harvard). Then we went on to the Sony robot. I forgot the name of that thing. SImanta raised the topic… right out of the blue, when gera was about to change the topic to something new. I think Sanjna’s proximity adds a new dimension to his questioning abilities. Anyway .. as long as he is impressive to the niche, its ok.
[[Deleted Content!!]] Gera said, apparently the robot was a huge success in japan because dogs are expensive to maintain in Japan, largely because of the lack of space. Ppl felt that having a robot dog made more sense, weirdly enough! But then Sony took this shit ti the US and the product needed some new positioning and revamping. It was not being bought by the old people, as it was in Japan, and on the contrary, the kids started buying it as a toy. It was obviously too expensive a toy and sony had to come up with cheaper versions of it to fulfil the market needs. Anyway .. there was blah blah and more blah on that.
There was a huge debate in the first year on whether mktng is a science or an art. I am beginning to get convinced that marketing is a farce. Neither science nor art! Who ever knows what they market is going to be a success or not? Can anybody take a product today and give it to me in writing that they will market it and it will be a success in the market?! NO. I can give it to u in writing that a particular phenomenon will occur under a particular set of rules. Lets say, for example, lightning. That’s s a guarantee science can give you. I can give it to you in writing that a particular nude painting of MF Hussein will be liked by the painting fraternity, especially if it includes madhuri dixit. That’s a guarantee art can give you. Marketing can give neither! Wots the fukn point then? How do I even remotely care if a god dam robot was bought by the elderly in Japan or if a particular version of the Viagra was appreciated by the population of Slovakia? They should then call it history, not marketing. Know what has happened in the past and try and not to repeat the mistakes man has made over the past years and learn from the wisdom he has accumulated. That’s history .. isn’t it? That’s also marketing.. isn’t it?

O my hertha!

Well.. i just opened this page to compose a new post on the hilarious ragging session we had with our new bunch of juniors and i was alerted by a new mail that said that our college ka director passed away. i, actually most of us in college, knew this was coming cos he was in a real bad shape for the last few days. but then when i got this mail, it was really depressing. i dont even know what to say to him now. being a fan of the undertaker .. RIP Sir.
but then just as i started writing the previous paragraph, somebody pinged me on yahoo. it was Hertha, a female whose friend request i had very randomly accepted a few days back. thats the thing with guys.. we are just so happy to get a friend request from a random chik that we try and convince ourselves that we know her, even if we don't! of course, there are also ppl i know who add me with weird user names and i later get to know who they are. so i thought Hertha also fit that category of my acquaintances.
here is the transcript of the chat :) : [my thoughts are in brackets]

hertha: good lookin handsome man
me: what?? (ok.. thanks :))
hertha: yay! finally someone to talk to!
me: m sorry, but do we like know each other?
hertha: i am stephanie and i work at a 24/7 fitness centre and i like to play around with my camera when i get back home.
me: lol (lol!)
hertha: i hate it when i cant get ppl to see me when i am talking or brushing my hair or fixing my bra
me: why have u added me? (me too!!!! .. i mean, if i don get to see)
hertha: u can check me out at http://www.livewebcamcrush.com/StephiesAss
me: (WTF??!! ... i am in the midst of a sex chat! lolzz ... HELL YEA!)
hertha: did u accept my request? they wont charge you anything and it gets so much easier with our cameras.
me: is it legally ok for me to do this shit .. i mean, wont there be any issues? (lemme try n mess arnd a bit :D)
hertha: o c'mon, all u need to do is accept my request, thats all.
hertha: u can check my pics at http://www.pinkgirlpics.com/
me: but i am NOT 18 yrs old.
i meanwhile chk the profile
me: (unholy fukkk!!!!!!)
hertha: !!!
1 min passes by
2 min
3 min
.....
....
...
..
.
me: hertha? (hertha)
me: u there?
me: heylo!!!!!
me: ( :( :( :( )
1 min passes by :(
2 min :(
.....
....
...
..
.
afterthought : lolzzzzzzzz :D

i block hertha.
its 7:18 am. classes suspended today cos our director passed away. i don know whether to feel sad or happy. i must be an ass hole to feel the latter. but i cant help resist feelin joy at the fact that i can sleep away to glory.
but still from the bottom of my heart ... Sir, may your soul RIP.

The myth lives on ....

I have no idea whats happening with the ppl of ‘days’ and very frankly I no longer care. Last week I was in Punjab. I loved Punjabi food.. sorry, love. Amritsar and Ludhiana, hence, always offered a great chance for me to satiate my hunger for good Punjabi food. I did not disappoint myself. Chole bhature, parathe, kulche, lassi, more bhautres, chicken butter masala, alu ki tikki, more lassi - I had ‘em all. And all this was just the start to a wonderful three days in Punjab. For once, I saw this surd cop in his bike and when he crossed me saw his number plate – “Notorious Gill PB 02 xxxx” (cant risk giving away the reg number of the notorious gill .. u kno).

The highlights, however, of my stay were two :

1) Golden temple: I normally love to be around sardars. They have a great sense of humor, which is sometimes, sometimes, sometimes highly accentuated by their awesome sense of stupidity as well. They are so stupid at times that I am sure that they do it deliberately. To them, the lesser mortals would probably never know that! And of course, I always associate sardars with the innumerous santa-banta jokes and the bachpan ka ‘barah baj gaya’ thing. Always a myth.. I knew it, cos this Sehgal dude always took exams in school and was hell smarter than me. He never wrote smthing like ‘bole tara ra ra’ in the answer sheet ryt at 12 o clock or smthing.
So .. I was at this temple/gurudwara and its really a beautiful place. There are volunteers at the temple who give u water and u can just sit/sleep around the pool, chill.. u know just relax. Nobody gives a shit abt u and although its pretty crowed, its peaceful enough. I, after walkin arnd temple for an hr or so, went inside to chk out what actually happens inside the golden building. They sing and pray, like in all religions and there was something very nice and calm abt the entire thing. i had just one problem though. I was the only non sardar dude inside the temple and I was suddenly feelin claustrophobic around so many turban headed ppl. I went upto the first floor and checked the time. it was 11:57 and I chuckled to myself imagining what would happen if the myth wasn’t actually a myth. I saw them , seated and singing happily like a nice closely knit Punjabi family, and went up to the second floor. All of a sudden .. and I mean ALL OF A SUDDEN… all of them just stood up and the singing stopped!! I also stopped exactly where I was and realized that suddenly there was a protocol…. U stand where u are and don’t move! It was 12!!! Then the lead singer from the ground floor started praying and everybody listened. After about every 3 min we all did a “wahe guru” twice and continued to stand and listen for the next 15 min or so. When it got over, all of them sat down again and I got my non Punjabi ass out of there… happy that the myth had almost come true, but hadn’t!

2) Wagah border: for the first time in my life, I wished I had a bomb!

Shit happens!

…. Days 5 – TOW Third arrives

Unprecedented and hilarious turn of events. Still looking forward to Whirltour, but days doesn’t end here. Not NOW, for sure!

04/05: 1900 hrs. I am at the mall with first, second and flapso. Flapso is my classmate and we meet up in the evenings and do time pass like we are doing now. Second tells me, “Yaar who to bore ho jayega. Tu bhi nahin rahega aur fir landlord bhi prakat ho jayega naya natak lekar”. Well, we are going to have another room mate who is going to replace me once I leave for the 30 day Whirltour. This guy is also my classmate and if there was one dumbwaiter’s pitch for him, it would be, ‘one crazy SOB’! He is the kind of guy who comes up with a tagline, “mere kok mein tumhara bachha hai” for a 30 second skit on the product Coke. First and second know him only as a fun loving time pass guy, both blissfully ignorant of what lies ahead of them. They seem concerned for him because they genuinely feel that he may get bored and eventually frustrated in this PG and out of genuine courtesy they don’t want that to happen. I don’t know why they never thought like that for me though! As we are savoring the delicacies at Haldiram’s, I get a call from third. He tells me, “I am here. Come down”. First and second are pleased that third has come. Flapso looks at me and gives me the “so, this is it!” look.

04/05: 19:40hrs. Third shakes hand with first. They have met earlier in college. Second comes from behind and pats third hard on his back and says, “Welcome to Gurgaon”. Third looks at him and gives him the, ‘u never hit me hard on my back again’ look and says, “yea?”.

04/05: 2200hrs. We have all had our dinner, dropped Flapso at her place and are on our way back home. Third knows about chik1 and chik2 because that is all first and second spoke about over dinner. I am sure he is not curious, but out of sarcasm he asks, “so is this chik1 hot?” I see a disgusted look on first’s face and second replies, “yea man, absolutely!” First, in his nostalgia, is about to play his backstreet boys songs when he looks at third through the rear view and decides against it. I, in the meanwhile, am loving all this. Third asks, “and what about chik2?” No one replies. Third looks around and senses something that only his weird ass mind can and gives an evil smile.

04/05: 2235hrs. I have just had a bath and have missed an apparently interesting discussion because I hear first telling third about chik1’s visit to Rishikesh and how he should have also gone there. I somehow get the feeling that first shouldn’t be talking too much about chik1 to third. Their discussion has now shifted to how third would reach his office tomorrow and second starts explaining to third his project at work. Third lends a deaf ear and asks me if we could watch the TV. I start looking for the remote as first looks helplessly, realizing that the noiseless nights when he could sleep at peace are going to come to an end, starting in 2 minutes from now. He says, “good night” to which third replies, “yaar, kal main tere saath hi nikloonga. Main bhi to dekhoon yeh chik1 dikhti kaisi hai?”

04/05: 2315hrs. I am still trying to fathom the consequences of what third has just said. I turn on the TV and they are showing sunny’s entry in the movie ‘Mujhse Shaadi Karogi’. Third exclaims loudly in joy, “dude.. this is one of my fav movies.. volume badha”. I say, “why not” as I see first trying to block his ears with the pillow.

.... Days 4 - The Season Finale.

Like all good things, even this is coming to an end. I have stayed with two arbit guys for around two and a half weeks and I have realized that as long as you can respect people for what they are you are bound to have a decent time. I swear that these two have been the most boring guys I have ever shared a room with. They possessed no vestige whatsoever of any desire to hangout in the evenings, chill, waste time outside home.. u know.. all that you normally do and define as having fun. But yet, as odd as it may seem, I have enjoyed my stay here so far. They are really nice guys who are unbelievably funny. Its not the sarcastic or peppy humor that we associate with funny people but the kind of humor that is born out of a frustration at what life throws at you. First came with hopes of completing his internship successfully enough to add to his ever growing academic credentials but ended up falling in love with chik1. To his dismay, she just goes with him to work and back but never for once shows any signs of reciprocating his feelings. What happens to that, I will probably not be around to witness. No, I am not dying. I am just going to travel and do some market analysis for the next month. Actually, market analysis is a pseud name for salesmangiri. Second, he came with high hopes of getting a cracking project that would extract the best out of him and he was all ready to work his ass off. He is the type of guy who is ever curious to know everything.. gobble up as much knowledge and experience as he can like there is no tomorrow. These days, he just sits at his desk staring at the company’s website, waiting for that elusive project. These two come home every evening and have some very interesting conversations/incidents that you may end up calling boring. But I found a lot of fun and humor in whatever they discussed. For example, second is a weirdo. He would just wake up in the middle of the night and switch off the ac saying it causes him a splitting headache! First would just wait for him to get back to bed and turn it back on with the remote that he always kept under his pillow. This happened daily!

First’s lamenting about his failure to impress chik1 and his ever growing suspicion that she is committed has been the highlight of my stay here. Every day brought with it some new twist to that little story. Chik1 went to rishikesh this weekend and first spent the entire week deliberating whether or not he should tag along and thought about all the things that are there to do at rishikesh. Finally, he stayed back and slept thru the weekend. Obviously he saw the T20 world cup on TV and had paneer butter masala as well. I think more than the possible revelation that chik1 is committed, he would be more disappointed to know that she doesn’t know to cook paneer butter masala.

Anyway, at the end of the day, if you look at it, its just 5 different people looking out for an opportunity to do something awesome during this stint with the company and probably walk away with a PPO/PPI. Its just amazing to wonder what all transpires on the road to achieve this primary objective. Sometimes, to the extent that you begin to wonder what your primary objective was. For first, maybe it was to woo chik1. For second, it was probably to get a live project in the first place. For chik1&2, it was probably to look better every day trying to impress somebody or the other. For me, I don’t know .. maybe to keep looking out for interesting things and kill time. I wonder how long would I keep killing time.

I don’t see hot1 or hot2 these days either, as regularly as I did initially. Maybe they are also doing some salesmangiri somewhere. Lucky store owners! As long as they don’t call them bhaiyya. Hope is a man’s worst enemy and a woman’s best weapon. The bad news for men is ...women know this rule better than them!

Anyway, for now I leave all this and go in search of information on the inverter bazaar in India and give my bosses some fundae on how they should go about with their strategizing. I have been forced to leave all this and go do something that will involve a lot of traveling. Some places that I am looking forward to visit are Amritsar, Lucknow, Kolkata, Hyderabad, Chennai, Bangalore, Madurai and Thanjavur. I hope these are as interesting as the story lines I have lived with for the past couple of weeks. For me, days ends here.

Looking forward to the Whirltour!

.... Days 3

19/04: 1000hrs. I hate Mondays!


20/04: 1100hrs. I am jobless and am chatting on gtalk, which according to me is the single most awesomely awesome invention by man. Not only do u waste ur own time, but also others’. I was so kicked on day 1 when I was looking forward to making an impact at work and walking away with a PPO at the end of two months. (for all those who don’t kno, PPO is the permanent job offer that companies give you for outstanding work during your internship. Or that’s what I think). I am now bored and I look around for something interesting. C’mon, we all do that! I see the two hot chiks around my cube. They are freshers and are still on probation… (I kno that by eavesdropping J). They are, by the way, also boiling hot and my only source of happiness on such dull days But I have not spoken to them…. not yet. I say, “enough is enough.” Why should I be the one who is left out… and I turn my chair toward one of them when I see my boss come up to me and ask for the report on the inverter survey that I had done last week. I tell her it will be at her desk in 10 minutes and get back to work. I take the print out and drop it at her desk wondering what she would have to say about it. My first report and technically the beginning of my pathway to a PPO. Actually, she is extremely unnerving and must have been equally jobless today for having had the time to come up to me and ask me something about my work on the inverter market. I am tired having done all this and I go up to first and ask him to join me for tea. We see another chik, also an intern from some other college, speaking very nicely to her boss and almost leaning on him in the process. First looks at me and says, “dekh saale. Tereko kya lagta hai.. inverter ki survey karke ppo milega tereko?” I sip at the stupid tea and look at my reflection on the glass in front of us.. “doesn’t help at all!”

20/04: 2200hrs. First is pissed. “yaar, apna paida hone ka gender aur generation.. dono galat hai! Is generation mein ladkiyon ka demand bahut badh gaya hai aur apna gender male hai” I offer him some hajmola and ask him what happened. In my 6 days of stay with him I have realized that he can be placated with two things: 1) hajmola 2) paneer butter masala. He says that he had gone to Delhi with chik1, post lunch, to do some survey on refrigerators. Apparently after 20 minutes of unsuccessful deliberation with the salesmen in one of the stores, he could see chik1 being attended to by the manager himself, getting all the attention that she needed to get the survey done. First on the other hand had been blatantly asked, “sir, aapne fridge lena hai ki nahin? Tab se poonche ja rahe ho?!” on getting back to work and reporting their survey, chik1 had been praised for her “in-depth” analysis of the retailer’s mind and first had been asked to buck up. Second, meanwhile got a call from chik2 and he disappeared into the balcony. I switched off the light, not bothering to take some hajmola from first, and went to sleep.


21/04: 0900hrs. I find myself in the front seat of first’s car and waiting outside chik1&2’s PG for them to come. This is ridiculous, I think to myself. Finally they come and we find out that chik2 had fallen on the stairs and had hurt her bum. I feel sorry for the stairs and wonder why females wear such high heels anyways. On top of that chik2 looks a good foot taller than second with those heels! Maybe that’s why they talk only over the phone. It’s apparent that first is abnormally silent. He is responding in monosyllables to chik1’s questions of yesterday’s survey and how they are going to go about it today. I think some girls have this unbelievable ability to find out that you are pissed and they practically do everything in their ability to piss u further. But guy’s don’t care as long as they are not pissed. First is right.. wrong generation! I can’t wait to get to my seat and look at the two hotties.


21/04: 1100hrs. I am chatting on gtalk when I hear a sweet little "hi" from behind. I turn around to see hot1 and she introduces herself asking me about my credentials, as if trying to judge whether se should be talking to me or not. Then she asks me if we could go have coffee. I just get up. We go up to this vending machine and she asks the guy there, “bhaiyya, do coffee bana do please”. hot1 is the kind of hottie who prolly gives ppl heartbreaks every time she uses the word ‘bhaiyya’ on them. I could see the change in facial expression in the vending guys face in a matter of seconds from when she arrived at the machine to when she used the lethal word on him. As I am about to sip at the coffee, my boss walks past me and asks me to come to her cubicle immediately. “it’s urgent!” I look at her and apologise for having to leave. She tells me, “it’s ok, I ll see you around.” I curse my rotten luck and my boss as leave. From the corner of my eye I can see the bloody vending guy smiling at me.

.... Days 2

17/04: 1700hrs. I am getting ready with a big pack of kurkure to watch IPL when first and second come back from breakfast. They say it’s very hot outside and go sit right in front of the AC. First almost smelt the air as if chik1 was sending some aroma from inside. Second looked especially pleased. They had had a 9hr breakfast. I wonder if they had got laid after that. First had stuck himself so close to the ac now that he was almost blocking the air coming out of it. I somehow didn’t want to revolt and change his mood. The match started and I diverted my attention to it. Suddenly, first looked back and exclaimed, “dude, awesome day!”. I could feel the fresh air that wafted from the ac now.


18/04: 0900hrs. I have been long wanting to wake up early on a nice Sunday morning and prepare breakfast and have it while reading the newspaper and listening to some nice music. Today I finally get to do it! I prepare the maggi and put it on a plate. That ways our PG is nice. We have a common kitchen. We just have to bring our own food and utensils. I didn’t have no plates or utensils so I decided to use whatever was kept there. Not that anyone would care… or so I thought. I make the maggi, happily put it on a plate and turn around to see the huge woman right behind me! “kya kar rahe ho?”, she beamed. I was quietly going to put the plate back, apologize and leave when she said, “mereko batate to bana deti”. I said, “nahin theek hai”, lifted the plate back and maneuvered around her to reach the stairs. I wished if I could pay her a few more to keep the hell out of the house in my presence and then for a second wondered in fright if that came out loud. But she was already washing the utensils. In 2 min, I was in the balcony with my maggi, newspaper and ipod.


18/04: 2100hrs. First has been over the phone for the past one hour and I am beginning to wonder and am actually sure that he has hit it with chik1. Not that I am bothered but am suddenly curious. I ask second and he says he doesn’t know. But his eyes gleam at the prospect of finding out who it is. He says he has chik2’s number and will call her, strike a conversation and very smartly find out in the process. I am not very hopeful of this and am thinking if all this is required when I hear second say, “hello?”


18/04: 2145 hrs. Second has still not hung up and first has probably forgotten that he is on a call. I now know second and chik2 are chatting but am still wondering what’s up with first. So I decide to call up chik1 and just see if her phone is engaged or not. If it is, then its obvious she is with first, else I will just disconnect. I call her and Bingo! Her phone is engaged. I am all excited and happy for first. I plan where we would have dinner tomorrow because I sure can coax him into taking us out for a nice dinner for having chatted with his chik for two hours. all i cared about was some good free food! First comes in, looking pleased and I smile back at him. “Saale bahut khush hai, baat ban gayi!?” first says, “haan yaar, finally!” I tell him to take us out for dinner tom and he says that there is still a lot of convincing required. well, ok, the dinner can always wait. We go to bed and I turn off the lights. I am wondering how in a matter of days, first had managed to impress chik1 when he says, “yaar, par yeh phone pe do ghante customer survey karne ka bill mera baap bharega ki company?” Suddenly as if it dawned on me the lights are also turned on and I see that second just came into the room after having an hour long chat with chik2. I am speechless but I find words to ask second if he had asked chik2 the question that he was ‘smartly’ supposed to ask to which he replies, “kaunsa sawal?”

Days

13/04 : I reach the PG where I am supposed to stay for the next two months with 2 other guys from my coll. I am praying that they are cool and are going to make my stay interesting and fun. One of the “two other guys” comes down to greet me. His t-shirt says, “I give an aspirin a headache”. Incidentally… my t-shirt just said, “ok!”

14/04: I wake up at 7:30am .. yes 0730hrs. cause: loud bangs on my door. The second of the “two other guys” probably has arrived.. “with a bang”!. First is still asleep.. unperturbed by the bangs. I think he is dead.. had to be, because the bangs were insanely loud! But I decide to open the door first and check after. Bad news all over!!! The second guy has arrived and he calls the first guy who wakes up! They start chatting excitedly about second’s travel from Ludhiana to Gurgaon, visibly unappreciative of my presence. I go back to sleep.

14/04: 1145 hrs. I wake up. Happy with the sleep I had. Happiness lasts only about 23 seconds. Loud bangs again! First and second say they are too lazy and chuckle about it, testing each other’s patience AND mine too. Bangs, meanwhile, get louder also testing the wooden door’s metal. I wilt. I open the door and a huge woman beams at me.. “kapden”! The kind of violence her eyes spat at me, I was going to strip when I heard first say.. “haan bai, kapden bathroom mein ek baalti mein rakhen hue hai. Dho dijiye”. With a sigh of relief, I get back to bed.

15/04: Big day. Evident because I am ready and dressed like a newly wed at 0800 hrs. First day of my internship. Me, first and second leave together in first’s car and reach office at 0830hrs. Both of them are also dressed well and are visibly more excited. There are 4 more interns at work with us. Two chicks and two guys. First falls in love, at first sight, with one of the two chicks. He keeps looking at her like that is his summer project. Intense and unflinching. We are all taken to a meeting room. First desperately tries and gets a seat next to chik1. His intensity stays and he keeps looking. Sorry.. staring. However, surprisingly, chik1 has not noticed this yet. Or probably she has, but has not bothered to care. First, I have to admit, even his meanest or most violent avatar looks innocuous. Chik1 seems happy and is beaming. And then, all of a sudden, their eyes meet.

16/04: second is cribbing about the fact that he never gets hot chiks around him. First in lost in another world of his own and lends a deaf ear. I am happy that it’s a Friday. Yday, the two chiks had asked first for a lift to work in the morning. For first, it was like a wedding gift, in advance, from heaven. We reach the predetermined point of pickup and chik1 is standing there, well dressed, with chik2. First plays, ‘quit playing games with my heart’ by Backstreet Boys and opens the door for his love. Chik1 gracefully enters as first stares with bated breath. Chik2 follows and comments that it’s a ridiculous song. I get the feeling that first is going to kick her fat arse out of his car when chick1 rogers her thought and says that she hates such mushy songs. Second, in an attempt to win over either of them, says he also hates such songs and chuckles while saying that first loves them. First is damn pissed. We reach office, 5km from there, in less than 3 min and it’s like a roller coaster ride. I am scared out of my wits and so are all the rest. Suddenly chik1 exclaims, “now that’s what I call driving!”. And then all of a sudden, their eyes meet.. again!

17/04: I am sleeping when I smell something really nice. I don’t know what it is and am wating to find out. Suddenly there are loud bangs! I open my eyes and I hear the bangs again. Thankfully the nice smell is also there. I see first spraying himself with some perfume. Forehead, neck, armpits, chest, abdomen, soles and finally, his socks. He sprays all of them with it and its methodical too... as if it’s a formula to woo chik1. The banging, however, continues and first finally opens the door and the huge woman enters again and disappears into the bathroom. I had to pee but she closes the door in front of my eyes. M too scared to revolt. First says to second that he is going to meet chick1 for breakfast. Second asks if chick2 would be there. They call to find out and then both of them leave to take the chicks out for breakfast. The door closes behind me and I am left in the room with a huge woman and desperate to pee.

And then, like they say.. the rest is present.