19/04: 1000hrs. I hate Mondays!
20/04: 1100hrs. I am jobless and am chatting on gtalk, which according to me is the single most awesomely awesome invention by man. Not only do u waste ur own time, but also others’. I was so kicked on day 1 when I was looking forward to making an impact at work and walking away with a PPO at the end of two months. (for all those who don’t kno, PPO is the permanent job offer that companies give you for outstanding work during your internship. Or that’s what I think). I am now bored and I look around for something interesting. C’mon, we all do that! I see the two hot chiks around my cube. They are freshers and are still on probation… (I kno that by eavesdropping J). They are, by the way, also boiling hot and my only source of happiness on such dull days But I have not spoken to them…. not yet. I say, “enough is enough.” Why should I be the one who is left out… and I turn my chair toward one of them when I see my boss come up to me and ask for the report on the inverter survey that I had done last week. I tell her it will be at her desk in 10 minutes and get back to work. I take the print out and drop it at her desk wondering what she would have to say about it. My first report and technically the beginning of my pathway to a PPO. Actually, she is extremely unnerving and must have been equally jobless today for having had the time to come up to me and ask me something about my work on the inverter market. I am tired having done all this and I go up to first and ask him to join me for tea. We see another chik, also an intern from some other college, speaking very nicely to her boss and almost leaning on him in the process. First looks at me and says, “dekh saale. Tereko kya lagta hai.. inverter ki survey karke ppo milega tereko?” I sip at the stupid tea and look at my reflection on the glass in front of us.. “doesn’t help at all!”
20/04: 2200hrs. First is pissed. “yaar, apna paida hone ka gender aur generation.. dono galat hai! Is generation mein ladkiyon ka demand bahut badh gaya hai aur apna gender male hai” I offer him some hajmola and ask him what happened. In my 6 days of stay with him I have realized that he can be placated with two things: 1) hajmola 2) paneer butter masala. He says that he had gone to Delhi with chik1, post lunch, to do some survey on refrigerators. Apparently after 20 minutes of unsuccessful deliberation with the salesmen in one of the stores, he could see chik1 being attended to by the manager himself, getting all the attention that she needed to get the survey done. First on the other hand had been blatantly asked, “sir, aapne fridge lena hai ki nahin? Tab se poonche ja rahe ho?!” on getting back to work and reporting their survey, chik1 had been praised for her “in-depth” analysis of the retailer’s mind and first had been asked to buck up. Second, meanwhile got a call from chik2 and he disappeared into the balcony. I switched off the light, not bothering to take some hajmola from first, and went to sleep.
21/04: 0900hrs. I find myself in the front seat of first’s car and waiting outside chik1&2’s PG for them to come. This is ridiculous, I think to myself. Finally they come and we find out that chik2 had fallen on the stairs and had hurt her bum. I feel sorry for the stairs and wonder why females wear such high heels anyways. On top of that chik2 looks a good foot taller than second with those heels! Maybe that’s why they talk only over the phone. It’s apparent that first is abnormally silent. He is responding in monosyllables to chik1’s questions of yesterday’s survey and how they are going to go about it today. I think some girls have this unbelievable ability to find out that you are pissed and they practically do everything in their ability to piss u further. But guy’s don’t care as long as they are not pissed. First is right.. wrong generation! I can’t wait to get to my seat and look at the two hotties.
21/04: 1100hrs. I am chatting on gtalk when I hear a sweet little "hi" from behind. I turn around to see hot1 and she introduces herself asking me about my credentials, as if trying to judge whether se should be talking to me or not. Then she asks me if we could go have coffee. I just get up. We go up to this vending machine and she asks the guy there, “bhaiyya, do coffee bana do please”. hot1 is the kind of hottie who prolly gives ppl heartbreaks every time she uses the word ‘bhaiyya’ on them. I could see the change in facial expression in the vending guys face in a matter of seconds from when she arrived at the machine to when she used the lethal word on him. As I am about to sip at the coffee, my boss walks past me and asks me to come to her cubicle immediately. “it’s urgent!” I look at her and apologise for having to leave. She tells me, “it’s ok, I ll see you around.” I curse my rotten luck and my boss as leave. From the corner of my eye I can see the bloody vending guy smiling at me.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
.... Days 2
17/04: 1700hrs. I am getting ready with a big pack of kurkure to watch IPL when first and second come back from breakfast. They say it’s very hot outside and go sit right in front of the AC. First almost smelt the air as if chik1 was sending some aroma from inside. Second looked especially pleased. They had had a 9hr breakfast. I wonder if they had got laid after that. First had stuck himself so close to the ac now that he was almost blocking the air coming out of it. I somehow didn’t want to revolt and change his mood. The match started and I diverted my attention to it. Suddenly, first looked back and exclaimed, “dude, awesome day!”. I could feel the fresh air that wafted from the ac now.
18/04: 0900hrs. I have been long wanting to wake up early on a nice Sunday morning and prepare breakfast and have it while reading the newspaper and listening to some nice music. Today I finally get to do it! I prepare the maggi and put it on a plate. That ways our PG is nice. We have a common kitchen. We just have to bring our own food and utensils. I didn’t have no plates or utensils so I decided to use whatever was kept there. Not that anyone would care… or so I thought. I make the maggi, happily put it on a plate and turn around to see the huge woman right behind me! “kya kar rahe ho?”, she beamed. I was quietly going to put the plate back, apologize and leave when she said, “mereko batate to bana deti”. I said, “nahin theek hai”, lifted the plate back and maneuvered around her to reach the stairs. I wished if I could pay her a few more to keep the hell out of the house in my presence and then for a second wondered in fright if that came out loud. But she was already washing the utensils. In 2 min, I was in the balcony with my maggi, newspaper and ipod.
18/04: 2100hrs. First has been over the phone for the past one hour and I am beginning to wonder and am actually sure that he has hit it with chik1. Not that I am bothered but am suddenly curious. I ask second and he says he doesn’t know. But his eyes gleam at the prospect of finding out who it is. He says he has chik2’s number and will call her, strike a conversation and very smartly find out in the process. I am not very hopeful of this and am thinking if all this is required when I hear second say, “hello?”
18/04: 2145 hrs. Second has still not hung up and first has probably forgotten that he is on a call. I now know second and chik2 are chatting but am still wondering what’s up with first. So I decide to call up chik1 and just see if her phone is engaged or not. If it is, then its obvious she is with first, else I will just disconnect. I call her and Bingo! Her phone is engaged. I am all excited and happy for first. I plan where we would have dinner tomorrow because I sure can coax him into taking us out for a nice dinner for having chatted with his chik for two hours. all i cared about was some good free food! First comes in, looking pleased and I smile back at him. “Saale bahut khush hai, baat ban gayi!?” first says, “haan yaar, finally!” I tell him to take us out for dinner tom and he says that there is still a lot of convincing required. well, ok, the dinner can always wait. We go to bed and I turn off the lights. I am wondering how in a matter of days, first had managed to impress chik1 when he says, “yaar, par yeh phone pe do ghante customer survey karne ka bill mera baap bharega ki company?” Suddenly as if it dawned on me the lights are also turned on and I see that second just came into the room after having an hour long chat with chik2. I am speechless but I find words to ask second if he had asked chik2 the question that he was ‘smartly’ supposed to ask to which he replies, “kaunsa sawal?”
18/04: 0900hrs. I have been long wanting to wake up early on a nice Sunday morning and prepare breakfast and have it while reading the newspaper and listening to some nice music. Today I finally get to do it! I prepare the maggi and put it on a plate. That ways our PG is nice. We have a common kitchen. We just have to bring our own food and utensils. I didn’t have no plates or utensils so I decided to use whatever was kept there. Not that anyone would care… or so I thought. I make the maggi, happily put it on a plate and turn around to see the huge woman right behind me! “kya kar rahe ho?”, she beamed. I was quietly going to put the plate back, apologize and leave when she said, “mereko batate to bana deti”. I said, “nahin theek hai”, lifted the plate back and maneuvered around her to reach the stairs. I wished if I could pay her a few more to keep the hell out of the house in my presence and then for a second wondered in fright if that came out loud. But she was already washing the utensils. In 2 min, I was in the balcony with my maggi, newspaper and ipod.
18/04: 2100hrs. First has been over the phone for the past one hour and I am beginning to wonder and am actually sure that he has hit it with chik1. Not that I am bothered but am suddenly curious. I ask second and he says he doesn’t know. But his eyes gleam at the prospect of finding out who it is. He says he has chik2’s number and will call her, strike a conversation and very smartly find out in the process. I am not very hopeful of this and am thinking if all this is required when I hear second say, “hello?”
18/04: 2145 hrs. Second has still not hung up and first has probably forgotten that he is on a call. I now know second and chik2 are chatting but am still wondering what’s up with first. So I decide to call up chik1 and just see if her phone is engaged or not. If it is, then its obvious she is with first, else I will just disconnect. I call her and Bingo! Her phone is engaged. I am all excited and happy for first. I plan where we would have dinner tomorrow because I sure can coax him into taking us out for a nice dinner for having chatted with his chik for two hours. all i cared about was some good free food! First comes in, looking pleased and I smile back at him. “Saale bahut khush hai, baat ban gayi!?” first says, “haan yaar, finally!” I tell him to take us out for dinner tom and he says that there is still a lot of convincing required. well, ok, the dinner can always wait. We go to bed and I turn off the lights. I am wondering how in a matter of days, first had managed to impress chik1 when he says, “yaar, par yeh phone pe do ghante customer survey karne ka bill mera baap bharega ki company?” Suddenly as if it dawned on me the lights are also turned on and I see that second just came into the room after having an hour long chat with chik2. I am speechless but I find words to ask second if he had asked chik2 the question that he was ‘smartly’ supposed to ask to which he replies, “kaunsa sawal?”
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Days
13/04 : I reach the PG where I am supposed to stay for the next two months with 2 other guys from my coll. I am praying that they are cool and are going to make my stay interesting and fun. One of the “two other guys” comes down to greet me. His t-shirt says, “I give an aspirin a headache”. Incidentally… my t-shirt just said, “ok!”
14/04: I wake up at 7:30am .. yes 0730hrs. cause: loud bangs on my door. The second of the “two other guys” probably has arrived.. “with a bang”!. First is still asleep.. unperturbed by the bangs. I think he is dead.. had to be, because the bangs were insanely loud! But I decide to open the door first and check after. Bad news all over!!! The second guy has arrived and he calls the first guy who wakes up! They start chatting excitedly about second’s travel from Ludhiana to Gurgaon, visibly unappreciative of my presence. I go back to sleep.
14/04: 1145 hrs. I wake up. Happy with the sleep I had. Happiness lasts only about 23 seconds. Loud bangs again! First and second say they are too lazy and chuckle about it, testing each other’s patience AND mine too. Bangs, meanwhile, get louder also testing the wooden door’s metal. I wilt. I open the door and a huge woman beams at me.. “kapden”! The kind of violence her eyes spat at me, I was going to strip when I heard first say.. “haan bai, kapden bathroom mein ek baalti mein rakhen hue hai. Dho dijiye”. With a sigh of relief, I get back to bed.
15/04: Big day. Evident because I am ready and dressed like a newly wed at 0800 hrs. First day of my internship. Me, first and second leave together in first’s car and reach office at 0830hrs. Both of them are also dressed well and are visibly more excited. There are 4 more interns at work with us. Two chicks and two guys. First falls in love, at first sight, with one of the two chicks. He keeps looking at her like that is his summer project. Intense and unflinching. We are all taken to a meeting room. First desperately tries and gets a seat next to chik1. His intensity stays and he keeps looking. Sorry.. staring. However, surprisingly, chik1 has not noticed this yet. Or probably she has, but has not bothered to care. First, I have to admit, even his meanest or most violent avatar looks innocuous. Chik1 seems happy and is beaming. And then, all of a sudden, their eyes meet.
16/04: second is cribbing about the fact that he never gets hot chiks around him. First in lost in another world of his own and lends a deaf ear. I am happy that it’s a Friday. Yday, the two chiks had asked first for a lift to work in the morning. For first, it was like a wedding gift, in advance, from heaven. We reach the predetermined point of pickup and chik1 is standing there, well dressed, with chik2. First plays, ‘quit playing games with my heart’ by Backstreet Boys and opens the door for his love. Chik1 gracefully enters as first stares with bated breath. Chik2 follows and comments that it’s a ridiculous song. I get the feeling that first is going to kick her fat arse out of his car when chick1 rogers her thought and says that she hates such mushy songs. Second, in an attempt to win over either of them, says he also hates such songs and chuckles while saying that first loves them. First is damn pissed. We reach office, 5km from there, in less than 3 min and it’s like a roller coaster ride. I am scared out of my wits and so are all the rest. Suddenly chik1 exclaims, “now that’s what I call driving!”. And then all of a sudden, their eyes meet.. again!
17/04: I am sleeping when I smell something really nice. I don’t know what it is and am wating to find out. Suddenly there are loud bangs! I open my eyes and I hear the bangs again. Thankfully the nice smell is also there. I see first spraying himself with some perfume. Forehead, neck, armpits, chest, abdomen, soles and finally, his socks. He sprays all of them with it and its methodical too... as if it’s a formula to woo chik1. The banging, however, continues and first finally opens the door and the huge woman enters again and disappears into the bathroom. I had to pee but she closes the door in front of my eyes. M too scared to revolt. First says to second that he is going to meet chick1 for breakfast. Second asks if chick2 would be there. They call to find out and then both of them leave to take the chicks out for breakfast. The door closes behind me and I am left in the room with a huge woman and desperate to pee.
And then, like they say.. the rest is present.
14/04: I wake up at 7:30am .. yes 0730hrs. cause: loud bangs on my door. The second of the “two other guys” probably has arrived.. “with a bang”!. First is still asleep.. unperturbed by the bangs. I think he is dead.. had to be, because the bangs were insanely loud! But I decide to open the door first and check after. Bad news all over!!! The second guy has arrived and he calls the first guy who wakes up! They start chatting excitedly about second’s travel from Ludhiana to Gurgaon, visibly unappreciative of my presence. I go back to sleep.
14/04: 1145 hrs. I wake up. Happy with the sleep I had. Happiness lasts only about 23 seconds. Loud bangs again! First and second say they are too lazy and chuckle about it, testing each other’s patience AND mine too. Bangs, meanwhile, get louder also testing the wooden door’s metal. I wilt. I open the door and a huge woman beams at me.. “kapden”! The kind of violence her eyes spat at me, I was going to strip when I heard first say.. “haan bai, kapden bathroom mein ek baalti mein rakhen hue hai. Dho dijiye”. With a sigh of relief, I get back to bed.
15/04: Big day. Evident because I am ready and dressed like a newly wed at 0800 hrs. First day of my internship. Me, first and second leave together in first’s car and reach office at 0830hrs. Both of them are also dressed well and are visibly more excited. There are 4 more interns at work with us. Two chicks and two guys. First falls in love, at first sight, with one of the two chicks. He keeps looking at her like that is his summer project. Intense and unflinching. We are all taken to a meeting room. First desperately tries and gets a seat next to chik1. His intensity stays and he keeps looking. Sorry.. staring. However, surprisingly, chik1 has not noticed this yet. Or probably she has, but has not bothered to care. First, I have to admit, even his meanest or most violent avatar looks innocuous. Chik1 seems happy and is beaming. And then, all of a sudden, their eyes meet.
16/04: second is cribbing about the fact that he never gets hot chiks around him. First in lost in another world of his own and lends a deaf ear. I am happy that it’s a Friday. Yday, the two chiks had asked first for a lift to work in the morning. For first, it was like a wedding gift, in advance, from heaven. We reach the predetermined point of pickup and chik1 is standing there, well dressed, with chik2. First plays, ‘quit playing games with my heart’ by Backstreet Boys and opens the door for his love. Chik1 gracefully enters as first stares with bated breath. Chik2 follows and comments that it’s a ridiculous song. I get the feeling that first is going to kick her fat arse out of his car when chick1 rogers her thought and says that she hates such mushy songs. Second, in an attempt to win over either of them, says he also hates such songs and chuckles while saying that first loves them. First is damn pissed. We reach office, 5km from there, in less than 3 min and it’s like a roller coaster ride. I am scared out of my wits and so are all the rest. Suddenly chik1 exclaims, “now that’s what I call driving!”. And then all of a sudden, their eyes meet.. again!
17/04: I am sleeping when I smell something really nice. I don’t know what it is and am wating to find out. Suddenly there are loud bangs! I open my eyes and I hear the bangs again. Thankfully the nice smell is also there. I see first spraying himself with some perfume. Forehead, neck, armpits, chest, abdomen, soles and finally, his socks. He sprays all of them with it and its methodical too... as if it’s a formula to woo chik1. The banging, however, continues and first finally opens the door and the huge woman enters again and disappears into the bathroom. I had to pee but she closes the door in front of my eyes. M too scared to revolt. First says to second that he is going to meet chick1 for breakfast. Second asks if chick2 would be there. They call to find out and then both of them leave to take the chicks out for breakfast. The door closes behind me and I am left in the room with a huge woman and desperate to pee.
And then, like they say.. the rest is present.
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